What I want from a leader?

What I want from a LeaderA friend of mine posted one of those pictures on Facebook with a beautiful picture and some inspirational words or a quote.  You know the kind.  You see them all the time, right?  Well, for some reason this “feel good picture” got me thinking about leadership and more specifically, “What would I want from a leader?”  Have you ever wondered what the ideal leader would look like?  How they would act?

I don’t know about you, but one of the most important qualities that I want from a leader is their commitment to hold me and the rest of the team to a higher standard than we ever thought was possible.  I want a leader that will push us to achieve more and get the best out of us.

In some ways, I want a leader that is better than we are.  Maybe they are more experienced or they have more enthusiasm than we do or they simply are more dedicated to the success of the group than we are.  In other words, there is a quality in the leader that we can emulate.

I want from a leader …

… someone who is willing to go first and lead us into battle if need be.  They have the courage to step out from the crowd and take on the impossible challenge.  Their bold actions inspire us to follow their example.

I want from a leader…

… a person who recognizes the value of their followers and supports our efforts even when they may end in defeat.  The leader knows that failure is a learning opportunity and doesn’t get caught up in the emotions.  A leader helps us learn from our mistakes and encourages us to do better next time.

I want from a leader…

… the ability and conviction to hold us to a higher standard.  The leader expects great things from us and we rise to the challenge.

I want from a leader…

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… someone that values the different roles that make up a team and recognizes that while not everyone will be the best, we can all contribute and grow into our potential.

Do you want these things from your leader?  I bet you do.

Now, here is the tricky part…

Aren’t we all our own leader?

What if we applied these same attributes to how we LEAD our own life?

Will you be perfect, probably not.  No leader is perfect… but they can always get better.

Decide today that you will lead.
Yourself.
Your family.
Your friends.
Your career.
What do you want from a leader … of your life?

 

Stop Lazy Thinking

I see this commercial by Verizon (see above) and while I understand (and support) the sentiment that we should support girls in the pursuit of their dreams, what really bugs me is the “Apples and Oranges” comparison of statistics that is used right at the end. It is an example of Lazy Thinking masquerading as marketing.  Clearly it was not created by a capable science writer or at least not by an ethical writer with a clear understanding of the proper use of statistics.  As they say, “The numbers don’t lie … but liars often use numbers.”

I hate Lazy Thinking…

The commercial compares a survey of science and math interest at a young age to the percentage of a single type of major (engineering). Those 66% girls who “liked science & math” may be a completely different population compared to the students who make up the 18% of engineering majors.  What if it was rephrased as “82% of 4th grade boys liked science & math and 82% of engineering majors are male”?  Using the logic implied by the commercial, that would mean that every boy became an engineer.  Does that make sense?  I would suspect that “100% of 4th grade boys ‘liked recess’ but what percentage majored in “sports” or something even remotely similar?

 

The comparison in the commercial also does not address how many of the “66%” might have gone on to major in physics, math, biology, medicine or countless other “science & math” majors.  Based on the statistics presented, it doesn’t make sense to draw a conclusion that girls are not using their interest in “science & math” in other ways when they go to college.  Wouldn’t it be more important to know how many girls (or boys) go on to college in the first place?

 

One last point…

If 66% “liked science & math” I wonder what percentage liked “helping others” or “fashion” or “taking care of animals”? Any of these areas could have been higher than 66% but the percentage that major in one of those [much more specific] areas would likely be lower than the ones who “liked it” as a kid, regardless of gender.

 

Bottom Line:

What we like in 4th grade, regardless of gender, doesn’t always have a strong correlation to our major in college or even the career we end up building.  Can’t we just encourage kids to explore lots of areas while they are young?  I would ask Verizon to remove the statistic at the end of the commercial and just end with the phrase (which is already used in the voice-over) “Encourage her love of science and technology and inspire her to change the world.”

 

The Lazy Thinking Challenge

Am I wrong?  How?  Did I miss something?  I challenge anyone who reads this article to call me to task for any aspect of my argument and point out any places where I’ve displayed Lazy Thinking.  I will admit I’m not a statistics expert and I’m sure there are more specific terms for the mismatch I’ve pointed out so I hope you will point them out for the benefit of other readers.  Where do see Lazy Thinking in the media?  In science?  Leave an example in the comments below and I may feature it in a follow up article !

GRM – Guided Results Meditations Product Page

logo-Guided Results Meditation

GRM -
Guided
Results
Meditation™
programs:

GRM or Guided Results Meditations are the latest brain training tool available for people looking for that extra edge in their life or just looking to enjoy life a little more.

 

GRM™ for Sleep / Relaxation

This Guided Results Mediation™ audio file is the simplest and easiest guided meditation to use successfully since we all have experience falling asleep.  Even if you are currently experiencing difficulty falling asleep, you have certainly fallen asleep at some point in your life so it is definitely possible… you just might need some help. GRM-Sleep/Relax™ is a great introduction to guided meditation and if you would like a copy of the audio file for free, just sign up for our GRM™ email list (see below).

Guided Results Meditation Subscribers List

Not only will you get the GRM-Sleep/Relax™ audio file as our gift to you, you will also get notified whenever we launch a new guided results meditation program.  Once you are signed up, you also get additional information & discounts … assuming you continue to be a subscriber to our list.  We are sure you will, but please know that you can unsubscribe at any time and it won’t hurt our feelings. (OK, maybe a little bit.)  You can even sign up to get the free MP3 audio file and unsubscribe right after, but then you would miss out on the other bonuses and great stuff that we send to our GRM™ list.  It’s your call !

 

Subscribe to our GRM email list
and get the Sleep/Relax audio file for free !

* indicates required

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GRM™ Programs

When you sign up for our Guided Results Meditation™ email list, you will also be the first to hear when new programs are released.  Below are some of the programs available along with some of the ones we are working on.  If there is one you would especially like us to deliver for you, please leave a comment at the bottom of this page!

    • GRM™-Sleep/Relaxation – Introduction to Consistent Relaxation and a Full Night’s Sleep.
      [Available as a FREE download when you sign up for our email list]

 

    • GRM™-Sleep Solutions – Everything you will need to generate solutions to the problems on your mind while you sleep through the night.  GRM-SleepSolutions includes two audio files and two PDF files which will help you solve problems while you sleep.  The package includes an audio file which can be used during the day and another for use as you go to sleep for the night.  In addition, the script for the Guided Results Meditation can be downloaded as a PDF file so you can be aware of the words that go into each meditation.  The 4 page GRM-SleepSolutions Worksheet is downloadable as well.
      Buy Now… Price: $49.99

 

    • GRM™-Ideal Health / Weight – Train your mind to improve your health & food habits.  GRM-Health/Weight Control includes two audio files which will help you think differently about food so that you can maintain a healthy weight.  The package includes an audio file which can be used during the day and another for use at bedtime.  In addition, the script for the Guided Results Meditation can be downloaded as a PDF file so you can be aware of the words that go into each meditation.
      Buy Now… Price: $49.99

 

    • GRM™-Running Meditation – Use the naturally meditative state of running along with guided audio to inspire creative problem solving.  GRM-Running Meditation includes one audio file which will guide your thinking while you are running so that you can solve problems, think creatively and capture those ideas for use after your run. The package includes an audio file which can be used during your run.  In addition, the script for the Guided Results Meditation can be downloaded as a PDF file so you will know the words that go into each meditation.
      Buy NOW Price: $49.99

 

    The following programs are in development.
    If you are interested in any of them, please be sure you sign up for our email list so we can let you know when they are launched. Alternatively, if you leave a comment on this page (which requires your email address), we will send you a one-time email when the program you expressed interest is launched. (Either way is fine.)
  • GRM™ – Zen Garden Meditation – Full Body Meditation in the Sand.
  • GRM™ – Key Visualization Tools for Shaping Your Future
  • GRM™ – Feel The Love
  • GRM™ – Stop Smoking / Start Living
  • GRM™ – Happiness Booster
  • GRM™ – Confidence for Business & Life
  • GRM™ – Think Like The Wealthy
  • GRM™ – Positive Thinking for Positive Results
  • GRM™ – Mind Power for Athletes
  • GRM™ – Advanced Strategic Visualization
  • Individually Customized GRM™ - a script and audio file developed specifically for you and your situation.  Contact us for a quote.

How To “5Star Goal Setting & Getting”

5 star Goal Setting and GettingI wrote an article recently about “5 Star Goal Setting & Getting” as a guest blogger over on gps-SpeakerMarketing.com (check it out) but I reserved the ideas that follow for my own readers.  Take a look at the ideas below and leave a comment to tell me if you think they will take your goal setting (and getting) to a whole new level !

1) Start small when Goal Setting.

It is more important to develop the habit of goal setting and getting than it is to go for the biggest goal you can imagine.  Certainly there is some excitement when you “reach for the brass ring” but setting and achieving goals will give you the confidence to actually tackle your larger goals.

In addition, smaller goals can lead to bigger goals.  You might find that once you meet a certain goal that the larger goal no longer excites you and you can make adjustments along the way.

2) Grow your goals.

Build on your successes and learn from your failures.  As you strive to expand your goals, the skills you learn on smaller goals will help you on the way to bigger and bigger goals.

3) Celebrate and enjoy your success.

Goal setting adds a clear cut sense of a black and white to what is usually a long road of gray.  Life is a journey and we often forget to celebrate our accomplishments when we are caught up in the process and focused on the goal on the horizon.

Finally, rely on motivation, not self-discipline.

A good goal is exciting when you set it.  You can envision it happening and it fills you with anticipation of its completion.  The problem is most people do not hold themselves to that standard of motivation and they set goals that do not get them excited.

Think about it …

If your goal does not motivate you now, how likely is it that your motivation is going to carry you all the way to completion?  Self-discipline is a wonderful thing, but it is a limited resource and if you start using it up right from the start, there won’t be enough “gas in the tank” to get you to your destination.  Save your self-discipline for the times along the way when you encounter stumbling blocks or obstacles and have to put in an extra effort.

Set your first goal … and go for it !

Goal Setting Bonus !

As an added bonus, I’ve created a downloadable free pdf 5 Star-GoalSetting-handout that I use for my 5Star Goal Setting & Getting workshops.  (Right-click highlighted text in the previous sentence and select “Save As” to download the pdf worksheet to your computer).  If you want to learn more about what each star represents, be sure to read my guest blogger article over at gps-speakermarketing.com/goal-setting/.

 

Accountability Partners – The Power of…

Accountability Partner PowerWe all need someone to hold us accountable for the things that we say we are going to do.  If we can’t hold ourselves accountable, then we may need an Accountability Partner !

What is an Accountability Partner?

Simply put, an Accountability Partner is someone that you tell your goals and/or actions so that they can “hold you accountable”.  It is one thing to say you are going to do something and quite another to have someone who won’t let you off the hook with all the excuses you usually use to justify not meeting your goals.  Accountability is one of the reasons that Alcoholics Anonymous is so successful… each person is paired with a “sponsor” who can serve, either directly or indirectly, as an accountability partner through the sobriety process.

How do Accountability Partners work?

Usually partners discuss their goals with each other and commit to hold each other accountable for the (mutually agreed) most important action.  The key is to meet on a regular basis so that you and your partner can keep an eye on your progress and “turn up the heat” on the activities leading to your goal as needed.

How do I find an Accountability Partner?

There are online communities that can provide a form of accountability (like http://gentlenudge.me/ or others for specific activities such as writing or spiritual development) but the best Accountability Partner is someone who you see face-to-face on a regular basis.  A friend or family member might work but they may be too easy on you and let you use your arsenal of excuses.  Someone with a shared interest might be better even if it means setting up specific times to meet and discuss your goals / actions.  Another option could be Networking Groups.  Check out the one created by Heather Hansen O’Neill called Adventure 2 Connection.  She puts together like-minded people for fun activities and networking.

 

Example of an Accountability Partner…

The HEAD guy when it comes to marketing - Seth Godin

A friend of mine is part of a Mastermind group in Florida and was working with his accountability partner from the group to determine what sort of “penalty” might be the most effective incentive if he does not meet his declared goal/action.  Financial incentives would have to be pretty big since my friend has plenty of money.  He is also not easily embarrassed so a public admission of failure probably would not do it, although that seemed to be closer to the answer.  What did he choose as an incentive?  He promised that if he did not fulfill his commitment that he would go FULL SETH GODIN (and shave his head).  As an added bonus, I put together a little audio clip to give him a little remind of what is at stake (click here for Accountability Sound Clip).

When are you going to build Accountability into your life?

The longer you wait, the farther away your dreams become.  Only if you are accountable for your actions today will you be able to enjoy the rewards in the future.  Get an accountability partner today and start building the habit of being someone that you can count on.  You won’t regret it !

 

“The Epidemic of Failure” speech

The video below is dMark “Dave” Wheeler’s 2013 contest speech titled “The Epidemic of Failure”.  Please your comments and feedback below !

What is the Epidemic of Failure?

 

 

What does Failure mean to you?

Assuming you have watched the Epidemic of Failure video, the question you might be thinking is “What failures do I have in my past that I can learn from?” or “Am I failing enough right now to make progress toward my dreams?”  Either way, an intimate understanding of what you consider failure vs. what you consider “learning experiences” will greatly affect how you frame both past and future events in your life.

 

Are you facing your own Epidemic of Failure?

Do you have a story about failure? Perhaps one that relates to one of the ideas presented by dMark “Dave” Wheeler?

 

Our favorite “epidemic of failure” quote…

Success as the ability to go from failure to failure … without losing your enthusiasm.      - Winston Churchill

 

Did you learn?

We must Keep Failing.  Encourage Failure in others, especially your loved ones.

Fail Often … so you are less sensitive to it and can learn from every failure.

Fail Fast… so the sting won’t last and you can bound back faster.

and Fail Small … so you can make small adjustments before the stakes get large.

 

Additional Reading on the Mindset of Failure…

“Fail Forward by John Maxwell”

 

Comments Appreciated !

Please leave your “Epidemic of Failure” comments below so that Dave and others can learn from your experiences !

 

Day2 Resources from Tim Ferriss’ “4 Hour Life” on CreativeLIVE

Tim Ferriss 4 Hour Life Day 2

If you watched Tim Ferriss 4 Hour Life streaming video on Creative LIVE you noticed that he threw out a bunch of references to resources and recommends.  Below is a the Day 2 partial list of all the great people, websites and products that he mentioned.

If you were able to watch Tim Ferriss 4 Hour Life streaming video on Creative LIVE you would have noticed that he threw out a bunch of references to resources that he recommends.  This is a partial list of all the great people, websites and products that he mentioned.
Day 2
Noah @AppSumo.com
Injure on Reddit.com  (didn’t get all of this reference)
book: Drop Dead Healthy by A.J.Jacobs (on Amazon)
Start day with GAEBY:  Gratitude, Attitude, Exercise, Breakfast, You
Rejection Phone Numbers / HiNoah@AppSumo.com / RejectionTherapy.com
“Letters by a Stoic” by Seneca (inoculate yourself against fear, “is the condition I so feared?”)
TacoDeli.com (to Noah’s heart thru his stomach?)
Eric Reis “Vanity Metrics
Case Study:  Mola (biodegradable toothbrushes)
sethbrooklyn2@gmail.com (100 at $50 each via Paypal)
Case Study:  Corey
22 Laws of Marketing by
Y-Combinator “What are your prospective customers currently cobbling together to solve a problem?”
520or90.com ”Find out which bridge is faster or cheaper in less than 10 seconds”
Work backward from a specific number (e.g. “top app”)
Google Forms… “What’s Your Email?” “Who is your friend who scares you?  What’s their email?”
@millionaireby25
Guest: Dave Camarillo, Guerilla Jiu Jitsu
“Own Your Walk”
4 Hr. Chef “Kitchen Segment:
Monell Chemical Senses Center
Pantry Setup:
Salts – 3 types… (missed the names.  Please add them in the comments if you got them.)
Mackavoy Olive Oil
Grape seed Oil
Ghee (in place of oil)
Coconut Oil
Wellness Effects.com
Sherry Vinegar
Champagne Vinegar
Dijon Mustard (watch for sugar)
Beans, Lentils,…
Kitchen Gear Plus:
Porlex or Horio Coffee Grinder (portable)
Aeropress
Temp Probe
Lodge Cast Iron Skillet ($20-30)
Glycerin
Chocolate
Knives…
Lettuce Knife
butcher looking knife (name?) $6-9 Amazon.com
Koon Raccoon (spelling?) peelers $8
[Slow Carb] Butterfinger Recipe…Sweet Potato (6 min. in microwave, scoop/mash), scoop of Chocolate Whey Protein, 1 tablespoon of Peanut butter, mix & eat.
Guest: Chase Jarvis
Guest: Rick Torbett
IceboxAthlete.com website “Lower Emotional Content” 3F’s – Flush Emotions, Fix it, Forget it
Guest: John Jackson, Founder, ArcheryTag.com
Conclusion by Tim:
Memento mori is a Latin phrase translated as “Remember your mortality”, “Remember you must die” or “Remember you will die” [wikipedia]
Why am I putting this list out?
While I hope this list is a real value to everyone who enjoys Tim’s books and blog, I am doing this for purely self-serving reasons.  I want people to visit my website so if you find this list useful, please post a link to it on Facebook or your blog.  If you like Tim’s stuff, I am sure you will like the articles on this site too !
* If you want more diet / brain training tips, check out my book, “Fat is all in your Head; 101 Small Decisions for Amazing Health” at www.FATisallinyourHEAD.com.  Sign up for the book mailing list and get the first 50 pages of my book !
The first day of Tim Ferriss 4 Hour Life on Creative Live was outstanding too (check it out here)!
Leave your comments or additions below !

Day 1 Resources from Tim Ferriss’ “4 Hour Life” on CreativeLIVE

Tim-Ferris-4-Hour-Life-Day1

If you were able to watch Tim Ferriss 4 Hour Life streaming video on Creative LIVE you would have noticed that he threw out a bunch of references to resources that he recommends.  This is a partial list of all the great people, websites and products that he mentioned.

If you were able to watch Tim Ferriss 4 Hour Life streaming video on Creative LIVE you would have noticed that he threw out a bunch of references to resources that he recommends.  This is a partial list of all the great people, websites and products that he mentioned.
Why am I putting this list out?
While I hope this list is a real value to everyone who enjoys Tim’s books and blog, I am doing this for purely self-serving reasons.  I want people to visit my website so if you find this list useful, please post a link to it on Facebook or your blog.  If you like Tim’s stuff, I am sure you will like the articles on this site too !
Resources:
SuperMemo (what is it?)

First Guest: Philippe von Borries, Refinery29
Gunderson Law Firm (for startups)… unsure of website.
Brad Feld, Boulder, CO
“Venture Deals Be Smarter Than Your Lawyer and Venture Capitalist” by Brad Feld (book on Amazon.com)
“Losing My Virginity” by Richard Branson (book on Amazon.com)
Unbounce.com (test landing pages)
Google Website Optimizer … “Website Optimizer has been integrated with Google Analytics as Content Experiments. To use Content Experiments, sign in to Analytics, open Standard Reporting, and in the Content section, click Experiments.”
Second Guest:  Leila Janah, Samasource.org
Third Guest: Neil Strauss, Author of “Everyone Loves You when you are dead
Joseph Campbell “The insecure way is the secure way” [follow your passion]
Program: “Freedom” (unplug & lock you out from internet)
Scrivener software (for MAC) (for Win) for writing scripts, books, etc.
ScreenFlow screen recordingDropBox.com
On Writing Well by William Zinsser (book)
Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott (book)
Brigade to Cuisine
wordpress for blogging (WordPress.com or WordPress.org)
Blog2Book examples …

   smitten kitchen cookbook
Stanford D School (free stuff online re: telling stories)
Learn a Language in 3 Months
michel thomas language recordings (Amazon)
Vis-ed.com (flash cards)
Japanese comic books
Slow Carb Diet *
Tim’s Dad… “30g of protein within 30 minutes of getting up each morning”… Myoplex by EAS

Dr. Kelly Starrett, physical therapist, www.mobilityWOD.com
YouTube videos
Mark Bell, weight lifter
* If you want more diet / brain training tips, check out my book, “Fat is all in your Head; 101 Small Decisions for Amazing Health” at www.FATisallinyourHEAD.com.  Sign up for the mailing list and get the first 50 pages of my book !
The first day of Tim Ferriss 4 Hour Life on Creative Live was outstanding and check back here for the resources list for Day 2 !
Leave your comments or additions below !

Speaker Demo Video for dMark “Dave” Wheeler

Speaker Demo Video of dMark “Dave” Wheeler – Mindset Training Expert

Text of the video:

WHEELER:  Now let’s talk about this big pink elephant.  That’s your subconscious mind.

Your subconscious mind is very powerful, it’s very large.  It takes in everything that’s going on, everything.  All of the emotions.

How do you control that elephant?  Does anybody know how they train elephants to stay with the circus so that they don’t kind of rampage off through the town?  Well what they do is when they’re small, they take a rope, not a big rope just a regular rope and tie it around their ankle and they stick a little stake in the ground.  Tiny little stake.  And the elephant doesn’t go anywhere.  Huge elephant that just pulled the tent up and he’s got a little rope around it and he says no I can’t do it.

How does that happen?  Well it started way back when he was a little elephant and he physically couldn’t pull it out.  He tried and he tried, couldn’t do it.  And eventually he learns I can’t pull it out, and he can easily pull that stake out.

As a matter of fact, when the circus goes to a new town, the elephant is the one that pulls the tent pulls up.  It’s powerful but it’s already decided that it can’t pull that stake out.

Right from when you were born you were being conditioned.  Your parents said don’t do that, you know.  Don’t do that, you should do this, and you believed it.  That became part of your conditioning, part of your programming.

Even now beyond friends and family you have the media.  And if it’s repeated enough, your mind says … well I’ve heard it ten, 20, 30 times and it must be true … even if it’s not.

Understand this, the most powerful form of conditioning are the words that are going on in your head, the words that you actually say.

There’s a rope on your elephant that’s holding you back, a rope that you could easily yank out. You have the choice.

You can train your brain to do whatever you want.  The choice is yours.

HIRE Dave to speak to your group !

Email:  dave [at] dmarkwheeler.com